Maybe crazy is too easy an explanation

There’s been a lot of talk lately about mental illness in the wake of the latest school shooting in the United States. When someone does something so terrible, so unimaginable, we look for explanations. He must have been crazy, we say.

Here’s the thing, though: sane people have committed horrific acts of violence. I mean, I haven’t looked at the psychological profile of every person who ever worked in a death camp or filled a mass grave or followed the commands of a warlord or shot up a public place. But I’m fairly certain they hadn’t all had a psychotic break. Human capacity for violence and hatred is far deeper than we care to admit.

Once in university I was in a play about the Holocaust. The director asked us to do an exercise one day. He named one woman in the cast the scapegoat, and we were instructed to blame her for everything and to call her names. We were acting, of course. Slowly at first, we began to insult her. Everyone in the room yelled at her, and our words rose in vehemence and anger. As she burst into real tears, the director called a halt. I remember stopping abruptly, confused by the tension in the room. As I thought about it, I was horrified to realize how easily I had slipped into being hateful. A little social permission and a few others to join in with and I was right there, touching the violence within myself.

And it was so easily incited.

It’s a moment that still haunts me.

Linking explosive violence with mental illness increases the perception that mentally ill people are dangerous and scary, which increases stigma against them, which makes it harder for them to ask for the help they need.

A study conducted by Mother Jones found that 38 of the 62 people who committed mass shootings in the United States in the past 30 years had displayed signs of mental health problems before their crime. That’s a statistic that has sparked calls for better mental health care in that country, undoubtedly an important thing. But it’s also shocking in another way. It means that 24 shooters had displayed no signs of mental illness. That’s a significant minority.

It’s true that the mentally ill don’t perceive reality in an accurate way, but mostly that means they’re paralyzingly afraid of going to the grocery store, or they’re thinking about ways to kill themselves because they believe that everyone would be better off without them, or they’re scrubbing the floor again at 3:00 in the morning, or they’re throwing their possessions into the river. Sometimes, yes, they are behaving in ways that could potentially harm others.

But you know what? Non-mentally-ill people do stuff that’s not consistent with a firm grip on how reality works all the freaking time. They do stuff that hurts themselves and others. They read horoscopes. They base jump into the Cave of Swallows. They get mad when you didn’t do what they really hoped you were going to do, despite never mentioning what they wanted. They follow homeopathy. They try highly addictive drugs for the first time. They hit their children. They run themselves over with their own cars by accident.

A person doesn’t have to be Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-certified crazy to do crazy things. A person doesn’t have to be intrinsically evil to commit evil acts. While better mental health care and stricter gun control are important pieces of the puzzle, what is it in North American culture that makes them feel they have permission to do these things in the first place?

(By Joyce MacDonald, reprinted from the Inverness Oran, December 19th, 2012)

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A post about posting, oh joy

I actually forgot the name of my blog! I had to look it up. This is not a good sign. The truth is I am not sure what, if anything, I want to write about right now. Personal life stuff gets posted at LiveJournal, witty one-liners are for Twitter, fan squee and pretty pictures are for Tumblr. Blogging is for long, well thought out posts about issues… but I don’t seem to write many of those. So. I guess I will keep on keepin on and if anything comes to me, I will post it.

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Just dance

Hello blog! I have an internet format problem: namely, I can’t give any of them up. I still use LJ for chrissakes. So now I have a blog and facebook and twitter and LJ AND tumblr. So many formats, so little content! I’d probably still be using Diaryland if I hadn’t forgotten my username. Tumblr is fun right now because it requires very little original content and consists mainly of people liking things. High fives all around!

That said, I am going to just bring in some music videos I can’t stop playing.

Anita Ward, Ring My Bell. Is this disco? It makes me jump up and dance every time.

Old Man Luedecke, Proof of Love. Banjo playin’ Haligonian. Why wasn’t I a  fan when I lived there? I don’t know. Actor Rob Brydon tweeted recently about how awesome his music is. I was excited.

KT Tunstall, Black Horse and a Cherry Tree. This rocks. It’s got a kind of mythological vibe to it too.

Gabriella Cilmi, Nothing Sweet About Me. I haven’t liked any of the other songs of hers I’ve heard, but this song, this song, oh. Chills.

CW Stoneking, The Love Me Or Die. You hear a CW Stoneking song, you think you’re listening to a recording from the 30s and then you find out he is a 37-year-old Australian who wears bowties 100% of the time. Just listen, listen. It makes you want to be wrecked in a seedy dive somewhere there’s never been a smoking ban, with mascara running down your face and every damn thing gone wrong, except the band.

 

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Hee hee hee, spam

I get a certain amount of spam comments here, most of which are boring, but today’s made me laugh:

The following time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I imply, I know it was my option to read, however I really thought youd have one thing fascinating to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you might repair in the event you werent too busy on the lookout for attention.

Pretending to be mean! Almost incomprehensible sentence construction! As a blatant attempt to advertise a poker site! What!

Excuse me while I try to come up with one thing fascinating to say…

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Femme Fatale, The Toy Hearts

On the topic of crime and tattooing, have a music video. So many good things!

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Gulag style

Oh my gosh, you guys, I so want something from this clothing line. Clothing designs based on Russian criminal tattoos? Yes please!

I love the information on what each image means.

There’s this:

Everyone loves owls, right?

Kat. is an abbreviation of the Russian word “Katorzhnik” which means “sentenced to hard-labor”, though “hard” was probably a soft word for it. If you made it through one of those camps and lived then you were one tough, resilient s.o.b. It was first applied back in the Tzarist Camps (1800-1917).

Or this:

MIR is a Russian word for “world”. But its an acronym for “Menya Ispravit Rastrel” meaning “Execution will Reform Me”.

That’s… chilling.

Or this:

On the top front is the slogan : “Zhivu Greshno, Umru Smeshno” which roughly translates to “I live in sin, I’ll die with laughter” or more precisely, die in a humorous way. In Russian the slogan rhymes.

Or this:

Straight from the alleyways and dark streets of Odessa comes this traditional Russian made “Telnyashka”. Standard issued to Russian armed forces, it was made fashionable during the 40’s and 50’s by hoodlums, hooligans, Thieves, ex-cons and various other colorful characters and is still quite popular today with men and women in Russia.

Style, history and tattooing all smushed together into a big ball of awesome!

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Allow these Slovakian sheep to teach you about the perils of the internet

I still have a bunch of made-up trends to post about, but… when I get aroundtoit. Instead, I bring you Slovakian (I think!) videos that will teach us about the perils of the internet:

Don’t let strangers take your pictures, don’t dance with the wolf! Look at those sheep on the internet, so cute. Even creepier, the wolf moves on to grooming underage sheep (aka lamb):

The shepherds also tackle racism. Which I don’t think kids learn about primarily from the internet, they are far more likely to see in their day-to-day lives. But anyway. This is also the only video where they even have black and spotted sheep so make of that what you will.

Okay, moral aside, sheep’s milk! Not a commercially available beverage! Not here in Canada anyway. I know some sheep farmers. I wonder if they have ever milked a sheep. Sheep’s cheese sounds yummy.

One more on sending naked pictures of yourself to boys you like:

So many sheep on laptops! I love these.

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Red lipstick: happiness in a tube

I don’t wear make-up everyday, or even every week. I am however fascinated by it and own a lot of it in a variety of dramatic shades. Not for me the coy “maybe it’s natural, maybe it Maybelline” does she or doesn’t she wear make-up. If I’m wearing make-up, you’ll know (unless you have vision issues.) It may not always look quite right, but I actually don’t have a duty to look good all the time, and besides, I’m still experimenting and learning how to do things. I came late to the wearing of make-up, although my mom loved her Mary Kay and joked about having to put her face on before going out of the house, she was really a minimal make-up wearer and didn’t encourage it in her daughters.

I tried the recommended shades for my Autumn self (remember those seasonal colour assessments?): plums, honeys, warm neutrals all. And they were okay, but they were also basically the same as not wearing make-up at all, so I usually didn’t bother. Make-up is sold to us as possessing transformative powers, so if it doesn’t transform, what’s the point?

Last year I bought a copy of the wonderful movie Cold Comfort Farm. Set in the 1920s, it’s the story of a young woman who goes to stay with her bizarre relatives in the country and ends up fixing all of their lives. I like it better than the book. Flora Poste (played by Kate Beckinsale) wears this fabulous shade of orange-red lipstick all through. Perhaps it was just a wish to be as hyper-competent as her (“I believe in arranged marriages,” she snaps at one point. “When I want one, I’ll arrange it.”) but I became obsessed with recreating that look.

Kate Beckinsale as Flora Poste.

Flora Poste and Elfine Starkadder (played by Maria Miles.)

Flora Poste again.

So that gives you an idea of the look I was looking for, very simple except for the bright lips. I started searching for the exact right shade, gravitating towards the reddest reds. And somehow I have ended up with EIGHT bright reds and one orange, without finding the one I was looking for. I have found a lot of really fabulous shades, though, and when I did locate an orange I discovered it doesn’t look nearly as good on me as the true reds.

I have gotten compliments on my lipstick, even the sorts of compliments that are insulting, where the person gushes “ohmigod, I can’t believe how good you look, it’s amazing!” and it makes you wonder just how crap you normally look. Red lipstick suits me. I also like how easy it is to do, just a little foundation, the lips and BAM! Maximum transformative power.

It does make me feel slightly transformed. Fiercer. More bold. Sexier. It’s all the retro glamour associations with red lips, I suppose.

I have:

Revlon Ravish Me Red – This is the closest to the orange-red I wanted, it’s got a nice creamy finish, too.

Revlon True Red – It is indeed a true red. Texture-wise, I think this is my favourite, not too slick so it’s easier to control how much goes on (and I don’t end up wiping off clown-mouth, the scourge of red lipstick wearers or at least me.)

Revlon Just Bitten Gothic – This is a pen-style applicator, which I enjoy. Plus it’s got a marketing to vampire fans vibe to it that I am a sucker for. *Ba-dum-tsh!* It’s a stain rather than a stick.

Maybelline Very Cherry -It’s got pink undertones to its redness.

Maybelline Are You Red-dy? – A bright red with maybe a tiny hint of orangeness to it.

Rimmel Alarm – To be honest I can barely detect a difference between the last shade and this one, they are both nice.

Rimmel Diva Red –  I need to work on my red vocabulary as I am lacking words for the subtle variations in colour here.

NYC Retro Red – This one is the pinkest of the reds I have.

L’Oreal Orange Fever – a true orange with visible sparkles, it doesn’t look that good on me but I am sure someone out there looks amazing in it.

I had to draw on my hand to come up with these distinctions (from top to bottom on the list):

I am not good at straight lines, especially with my left hand.

Anyway, my obsession with red lipsticks continues and I obviously should stop buying them because holy hell I have enough… but… maybe just one more…

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Pretty pink princesses

I stumbled upon this review of a book by Peggy Orenstein called Cinderella Ate My Daughter. It sounds like an interesting book, with one point being that girls don’t have some sort of biological imperative to like pink and princesses. It’s a culturally constructed thing and a fairly recent one at that.

I always squirm at how much people push kids into gendered boxes, from the start. A pregnant woman recently said to me that she thinks her baby is a boy, because he kicks so much! I just stared at her in shock at the idea that a female fetus would be less rowdy than a male one.

I don’t know, I’m not a parent, so maybe if I had a kid I too would say, “Oh, my little guy just naturally likes fire trucks and hates dolls!” instead of believing that there are a lot of blatant and social pressures on kids to play in certain ways. Not that they necessarily do! Just to undermine my own point a bit, my most favourite toy as a girl was my wooden sword, which was very useful in the many warrior games I played. But the fact is, kids often receive gendered toys as gifts. Girls are just going to end up with more Barbies and such, while boys get dump trucks. That’s not to say that those Barbie dolls are not planning an unprovoked attack on the My Little Ponies, leading to full-out war between the two factions! Not to mention the number of dolls, in the form of Thundercats and wrestling stars, that the boys I grew up with played with. Just no one calls those dolls. Is it because you can’t brush their hair and change their clothes? Those were always the most boring parts of playing with dolls anyway, only to be done with adults.

There does seem to be a lot more pink frilly princess-y things around now. At least in the ’80s we had She-Ra. And the Disney movies out at the time were Robin Hood and The Rescuers and The Fox and the Hound and Bambi. No princesses in sight.

At that time, though, adults were fascinated by a real-world princess: Princess Diana. Being a princess certainly didn’t turn out to be a happily ever after fairy story for her. Now we have Kate Middleton about to become a princess. I feel pity for her. The scrutiny of her ever move and outfit has ramped up since her engagement.

There’s a strong disconnect between real-world princessing and what gets marketed to little girls. Here is a recent article from the LA Times that features an interview with Peggy Orenstein. She says:

It would be ridiculous to say every girl who plays princess is going to have an eating disorder, but it is true that girls are getting more obsessed with their appearance. There’s lots of research that shows that the obsession with appearance has gone up since 2000, that 40% of 6-year-old girls regularly wear lip gloss or lipstick, that the percentage of girls 8 to 12 who wear mascara has doubled since 2008. I would not pin that on the Disney princesses, but I can pin it on a culture that encourages girls in an unprecedented way at increasingly young ages to emphasize beauty and play sexiness.

That’s worrisome. What can parents even do to resist these pressures? I’m not going to pretend I can answer that question, but I hope people are thinking about it.

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Bear dancing!

Back in August I posted about the Browns and the tradition of bear dancing in Washabuck.

Today I found this video from the summer festival over there:

It’s good to see the younger people are carrying on this traditional form of Cape Breton folkdance! There may have been one or two who had a little ‘treat’ beforehand, but that’s alright.

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